sure enough…

okay, well, i thought today the Hartford Advocate polls would have been tallied and published, but i guess not.  ah well.  i’ll let you know when i do, of course!
work was nicely busy today… got outta work, went to Mom & Guy’s, had two glasses of wine, and a big chicken & rice dinner, and, with an extra dash of didn’t-get-enough-sleep-last-night flavoring, i am BEAT.

so, i’m gonna practice the new song i’ve learned (it’s a cover song, ridiculously easy, and extremely satisfying), and then nod off.  With some sweet, SWEET thoughts in my head that hopefully seep into my favorite pillow and stay there for when i need them in my waking hours.

slante. 

oh man….. i am the luckiest.

lauren’s gonna fly out here just in time to be with me on New Year’s Eve (we’ve both spent the last few New Year’s Eve’s alone… which, surely, does build character, but damn! i didn’t want to be CALLING her on New Year’s, i wanted to be KISSING her!), and on January 2nd, we’ll be flying back to San Diego, packing up her x-terra and a trailor, and make a cross-country trip together back up to CT!!!
i. can’t. wait.

six months will fly by, i’m sure, and even though the time between visits will be longer than we want them to be, i know we’ll get through it. The reward for this waiting will, easily, be so, so worth it.

it made my heart sing when she said she’d be flying out here for New Year’s. Really. It sang right from its teeny, tiny little heart-diaphragm.

i feel like I Got The Girl. you know? wow.

things, otherwise, are same-old, same-old… work work work, same same same. Guy and Mom are both getting better, Paul will be coming home for a little bit soon (wheeeee!!!)…. should be finding out about the Grand Band Slam results TOMORROW, so i’ll let everyone know how that goes, of course…

time to watch The Daily Show- tonight, Al Gore is on, and since i saw his documentary/slide show about global warming, i’m looking forward to hearing more. ooo – go to www.climatecrisis.net for more info.

Peace!

lovin' in da pool!, originally uploaded by chion.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chionwolf/sets/72157594173620873/show/

it's 2:30 in the morning, and i am getting sleeeeeeeeeeeeepy.  oh yes.

two mornings ago, i woke up early, and couldn't get back to sleep- so that was a short night of sleep.  last night, i HAD to get up early to go see the insurance car inspector man, and i didn't go to bed quite as early as i'd meant to to compensate for waking up early.

and sleep is trying to woo me into bed now.

but i made my bed really nicely, so i can't get into it, 'cause that'd mess that up.  and the couch, well, the couch has salsa on it.  that did make for an interesting night…

brian from work came over!  and we watched Date Movie, which thrills me endlessly (although it was exponentially funnier the first time i saw it), and while spanking Momo, i somehow overturned the salsa, which got on the couch, floor, Momo, and me.  

now, i'm showered and dressed and ready to GO, so having salsa on my famous brown zippie and t-shirt 2 hours before i leave was NOT my idea of an ideal scenario.

so, i used woolite and rinsed the salsa'd parts… then thought to simply just throw 'em in the dryer!

well, see, the laundry room closes at 11.  it doesn't lock or anything, but you're not supposed to use it after 11 because it's right next door to where someone's bedroom is.

i had always seen the "LAUNDRY ROOM CLOSES AT 11" sign… i've lived here for two and a half years.  but it never really set in how serious an instruction that sign was until one night, after a late soccer game, i started a load of laundry.  when i went to put the loads in the dryer, there was a handwritten sign now taped up to the laundry room door: "Closes at 11!!!" and the 11 is circled over and over and over.

yikes.

sorry man.

so.  i was nervous putting my zippie and t-shirt in the dryer, but i had no choice!  if at least i could get them MOSTLY dry, then i could just use good ol' handy-dandy body heat to finish the job.

let me tell you, as i was in my apartment, waiting for at least 15 minutes to pass before i went down to fetch my clothes, i was picturing whoever lived next to the room to be standing in front of the laundry room door, silent, with a shot gun.

what a way to go!

that reminds me- i hope i don't have some freakish anyerism.  not intending to be morbid, but i've been thinking about it occasionally lately after hearing that a local entertainment news writer passed away by way of a double anyerism.  damn.  one day, you know?  just one normal day, maybe some plans for later, and WHOOMP.  down for the count.

i think that'd be one of a good, heavy handfuls of ways i really don't want to go.

but then, referring back to my enthusiasm for Richard Bach's "Illusions", maybe you really don't go 'till you've decided to, no matter how bloody the wreck or how sudden the stun.

yeeks.

i've never had a problem with airplane crashes though.  i mean, at least you've got a bit of time to either freak out or laugh.  one time, the plane i was on had such violent turbulence, to the point where the woman next to me did the sign of the cross, the guy ahead of me downed his rum & coke, and i thought anything was possible, one way or the other.

i surprised myself by laughing and wishing i could somehow get everyone else on the plane to believe that if the plane goes down, it'll all be okay.  not that we'd survive or anything, but that the world would spin and every-ting' gon' be all right.  That kind of thing.

anyway.

i've made it to 3:20am, and i'm headed out to mom & guy's in about 25 minutes.  

oh, and my zippy and t-shirt got almost completely dry- i've now hung the zippy on my electric guitar, Elaine, with a fan aimed at it.  just for that finishing, dry touch.

i'll either update from San Diego, or when i get back!!  And of COURSE i'll have PLENTY of pictures….

…i can't WAIT.

off i go! 
Peace!

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm not sure if i can/should sleep or not, 'cause i gotta be outta the house by 3:45am in order to get my TRIP TO SAN DIEGO STARTED!!!!!!!!!!!

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am SO psyched. Last time i went to san diego, i was psyched TOO (similarly unbearably so), and this time will be different 'cause i'll be able to stay a lot longer than last time, AND Lauren is expecting me, as opposed to my previous surprise trip.

So i'm spending the evening cleaning the apartment (so when i get home, it's all nice and clean!), doing laundry, washing my hair (with my favorite shampoo EVER, thanks to Jonatha's fine salon work), and PACKING.

i love packing.

you get to go through your entire inventory of clothes and items… travel-sized things, extra underwear, chargers for my camera/phone/whatnot, shirts, pants, zippies, hoodies, toiletries… agh. what FUN!

and ooo! this morning i went to get my car looked at by the perpetrator's insurance company. they're gonna cut me a check for over $1000! Rah!!! And the lady STILL hasn't called in to report the accident (douche), so i gotta wait 'till they speak with her and assign blame (her), but that's fine. the car drives fine, and i'm in no rush.

so. it's been a great day, and i am READY TO GO!!! Momo will be visited twice a day by a nice lady from the vet down the street. It's waaaaaaay cheaper than boarding him there, and a lot more pleasant for him- he gets to stay home alone and wreak havok! And i know he'll get his meds, so i have nothing to worry about. I even lined the edges of my bed with cardboard so Momo can't run and hide when he realizes that the woman coming through the door isn't me. I've FINALLY outsmarted the beast. it's about time.

Time to sit here and be giddy.

yeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace!

so this morning, i was happily driving to work… listening to bob marley, sippin' my medium Dunkin Donuts iced light & sweet coffee… when i get side-swiped after a left-turn into the mall parking lot.

damn.

the damage was minimal, it was the other lady's fault… but made the day noticibly different than any other day.  called her insurance company a few hours later- she hadn't called it in yet.  eh.  and i'm gonna take it to a repair shop tomorrow after work to have 'em estimate repair costs… Thursday morning, i'm meeting w/ the lady's insurance people to get THEIR estimate.  Good times!  

And i'm leaving on Friday to go to San Diego and see my beautiful girlfriend.  all is WELL. 

Time for bed…

oh my!!! Baby it's not what it looks like! haha…, originally uploaded by chion.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chionwolf/sets/72157594163169605/show/

just a quick note before bed…

went out and saw "A Prairie Home Companion" tonight- i'm a fan of the radio show, and there were just a handful of us in the theater.  funny, to be in the same room with just a few people who have this one strange thing in common, being listeners of the show.  there were a few movie stars mixed in with a few characters playing themselves (literally in both literal senses – the real house band, real house singers, the real MC, and Kevin Klein as Guy Noir!)… A few surprises- an angel and some deaths.

i'm not sure if it was a full moon tonight, but it sure looked like it.  i stopped after i closed the door of my car before walking into my apartment building, and thought for a moment that i hadn't brung my camera with me for once.  and if i had it, i'd try to see if i could take a good picture of the moon, like my brother Chris recently did.  Then i thought, for once, how about i just look at the moon?  when i take pictures of things, i'm spending those moments taking pictures.  not just enjoying the thing right in front of me.

i've been reading a lot of books about consciousness and presentness and happiness.  when really, i could just do those things.  reading about it is a fun way to learn about theories and why we do some things… explaining away subjective experiences, while questioning how they become subjective experiences in the first place and right now…

all that thinking, and, well, here i am.  right now.

then i thought how nice it has been and will be to take lots of walks with Lauren. I remembered taking walks with my mom.  walks with Paul through Madrid.  long drives with people i love. long drives with people i don't.   short drives with people i don't know so well.  any driving or walking at all is nice.  

i walked inside and kept the tv off, called Lauren to say hello and goodnight, and i'm headed to bed after giving Momo his evening meds.  not much in my immediate, physical life has changed – same job, same songs, same apartment, same car, same cat.  but a lot is changing in me.  asking and answering some damn good questions.  slowing down and realizing i'm right here, right now, and that's great.

there's an african saying… or a midwestern saying that someone claims is an african saying… either way, a saying that says, "no matter where you go, there you are".  i've always liked that.

Slante. 

(quick notes before bed, by the way, are rarely quick) 

i got another one for ya: Road Rage is now officially deemed a mental disorder called "Intermittent Explosive Disorder", or IED.

To be fair, this disorder was actually already "discovered".  It's a symptom of people living with Alzheimers, ADHD, and various "personality disorders".  It is defined as when "a person has defined episodes of violence precipitated by little provocation. These episodes begin and end very abruptly, but may last for hours" 

Now, i think everyone's gotten pissed behind the wheel.  when people cut you off, or do something clearly dick-wad-esque, AND they can just zoom away annonymously, yeah, that pisses everyone off to some extent.  

But what's SCARY is that you KNOW that IED will be used as a legal defense the next time someone gets cut off in traffic and in response, intentionally rear-ends and kicks the original offender in the throat.  or gives them an indian burn.  or something equally viscious.
i'm as guilty as anyone for waving my hands wildly (car sign language for "What the fuck!?!?") to advertise my disdain for the douche bag who deliberately put my safety on the road at risk.  Yep.  Guilty, guilty, guilty.  But to assign myself a disorder?  

is there a disorder for not picking up the phone on the first ring at work because i just don't care?  is there a disorder for throwing my clothes on the end of the bed instead of putting them away?  Maybe for laughing too loud in church? (haha, never mind, i don't go to church.  but if i did, i'd sure try to laugh a lot.  loudly.)  

my point is, if we keep coming up with medical acronyms as an excuse or peripheral explanation for behavior, then what responsibility do we have over our actions?  Claiming it is a medical mental disorder will in any capacity affect our resolution to do it over and over again.  it's not my fault- i have an IED bracelet and sticker on my license, officer.

stupid.

not to beat a dead horse (how i do love the imagry of that- no offense to horses, just offense to someone beating one), but there's a Family Guy episode where Peter finds out that he's mentally retarded.  Reasonably, he goes overboard and does whatever he wants to (which leads to a fanTAStic episode, stoned OR sober!), such as kicking in the bathroom stalls of a fully occupied public women's restroom.  It goes like this:

Peter kicks in the stall door.
Woman: "AHHH!!!!"
Peter: "Sorry.  Retarded"
Woman: "awww, that's okay!!"

scenario repeats

Peter kicks in third stall door.
Woman: "AHHHH!!!"
Peter: "didn't you hear?  I'm retarded!"
Woman: "Oh, you're just curious about women!" and offers to show him her anatomy.

Though in this scenario, being retarded is a LOT funnier than having road rage, you get the point.  

stupid stupid stupid. 

Red Sox vs. Yankees tonight!!!  I'm bringing chili to Brian's, and we're gonna watch what will hopefully be a really great game.  and if someone cuts me off on the way………. i'm retarded!!!

okay another thing that pisses me off: All this drama around 6-6-06.  Women are INDUCING LABOR today so that they would be sure not to have the baby on the dreaded 666 date.

this is the stupidist damn thing i've ever heard.

now, when it comes to positive superstitions, that's cool.  Are there any positive superstitions?  Finding a penny heads-up… That's the only one that comes to mind.

for some strange reason, the human race has this masochistic urge to curse themselves psychologically.  broken mirror = 7 years bad luck?  Walking under a ladder = bad luck in general?  and thousands more… why would you DO that to yourself?  indulge that mindset?
not to mention, and this used to IRK the HELL out of me when a former friend used to do it, saying "maybe it's a sign" is, to me, the laziest, silliest, most conceited, stupidest concept i've ever heard.  well, that and the marriage amendment.

it implies that the universe is geared towards your betterment.  towards YOUR cause.  well what about MY cause?  HER cause?  HIS? The world isn't perpetually shooting out subtle, confusing signs for your shaky deciphering.  

there's a difference between looking at the present situation or looking at the past and thinking "well, this is what happened to change my course, or inhibit my course," etc… but to say it was/is a SIGN?  Who says???  What if you missed one?  it WASN'T a sign- it was just something that HAPPENED!!!  

AND, i believe, if there ARE signs for ANYone, you sure as hell wouldn't be using the word "maybe".  If there's something up there that for some reason feels like participating in a direct way (which i doubt- PEOPLE do miracles, PEOPLE reach out, PEOPLE are there at the errily right time and place), i imagine that it wouldn't be so vague that you wouldn't catch the drift.  i imagine it'd be a pretty damn obvious sign. otherwise, why bother?  God/The Is/Allah/Higher Being/whatever-it-is, is not subtle.  

So.  this 666 business is just flat-out retarded. the world doesn't revolve around you, doesn't revolve around a book that's been translated and re-written so many times by mortal hands and ears and eyes… if you think june 6, 2006 will be horrible for you, then, well, if it is, you only have yourself to blame.  "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're your's."

go plant a tree and do something nice for someone.  

over & out.