sure enough…

Moped update:

This thing doesn’t go fast enough for what i need it for.  Really, at a modest incline, it barely goes over 20.  I’d LOVE to drive this thing on back roads to work, but the speed limit is 40 on a lot of those roads.  

So there’s not a return policy on these things.  I could appeal to the guy that i’d rather trade it in for a more powerful ride (which would require i get a motorcycle permit – no big deal, that’s easy), and spend more money with him, and see if he’ll let me do it.  Then, how much more are we talking here?  $400?  $2000?  How far am i willing to go?  I don’t know.

Then, why don’t i just scrap this thing altogether?  Sell it on Craigslist with all the accessories i bought and call it a crazy day.  Will i use it enough to make it worth it?  I feel like if i had a more powerful bike, i WOULD be able to utilize it, to make the investment worth it.  Keeping this one, though, makes no sense. 
What to do??  I’m so torn.  And, as i mentioned before, that slippery slope into becoming a motorcycle driver is blatantly real.  Once you get on any kind of motorized bike, it’s literally intoxicating.  At the same time, i ALWAYS said i’d never own one.  It’s not worth my life.  If i were in an accident, i’m far more likely to be hurt if i’m on the bike instead of a car.  Then AGAIN, i’ve never been the type to not do something that makes me happy because it’s more risky.  Carpe Diem and all that.  

if i were invincible, i’d already own a motorcycle.  But i’m not.  But i’m on my WAY to being one.  And all the money i spend on the bike, i could spend on my camera.  Then again, all the cash i’d cumulatively save on gas (really) would be great.

If i just threw up my hands and sold the thing, would i feel okay about that?  Or regret it?

If i had a LOT of money, i’d upgrade to the better bike, see where that takes me.  But i’m spending money that i really really really don’t NEED to spend on a bike.  I mean, my money situation is good.  I’ve got a good savings account and a very stable income.  Do i continue to indulge this crazy whim?

So torn.  I don’t know what i’ve gotten myself into.  But at least this is the worst of my problems.

oh, and about the waitress that blew me off – no idea what happened there!  Met her twice as she was my waitress for lunch, and we hit it off like crazy.  her texts said things like “i’d love to!” and “i can’t wait!”.  Then dead air.  Even assuming she lost her phone and my card, she knows where i work – two blocks down the street from her.  and if you search my name online, there’s 13,000 ways to find me and get in touch.  Ah well.  I know better than to take it personally at this point.  At least i tried.  It felt good to look forward to something in that way, though.  it’s nice to know that after all these years, it’s still in me to get excited for a date!  even if the date ends up with my camera on a park bench for sunset.  

today was pretty eventful:

-i bought a mo-ped (a Tomos Nitro 50cc) and named it Thomas

-i had lunch with dad & carol

-i drove to mom and guy’s to show off the bike.  Wished i had my camera as mom AND guy took their turns riding the new whip!

-drove (froggy) to Brian’s where he taught me how to drive standard.  I figured it out pretty quickly, and even drove on the road for a little while!  This is in preparation for our Big Road Trip when B wants to move to San Diego, i’m going to help him and his car get there.

-went to Shomial’s going away dinner – She is our latest Kroc Fellow, and i was glad to be there for the big Send-Off

-Went to Elizabeth Park and got blown off by a waitress that i met recently and made plans to meet up with.  Got a good photograph of a guy playing Ultimate Frisbee.

-Went back to B’s for a beer, and saw Andrew, which was nice.

The moped purchase was pretty spontaneous.  I hadn’t considered it for a long time.  But somehow, even with my camera addiction, i’ve been saving my money otherwise, and just dove right in.  The thing gets 100 miles a gallon, and can hold 1.3 gallons.  if i can’t drive fast enough for traffic, i get into the bike lane and wave people around me.  I can see a panorama of the world and feel bugs tap my face-shield.  It was a silly thing to do, but hey – the worst case scenario is that i don’t use it as much as i expected, i can just sell it.  ’Tis the season.  

I WILL say that owning a moped seems like a pretty slippery slope into motorcycle ownership.  I totally understand wanting to go faster and have a louder engine roaring underneath you.  AND!  even on a moped, people on motorcycles put their hand out for a low wave when we pass!  Secret Club Envy.  But not envy anymore since i get to participate!  What fun.

Exhausted from this day.  Ready for the next one.

(Note to self: put sunscreen on forearms while riding!)

soooooooooo i had this dream last night that i came upon a murder scene – i saw a heavy spray of blood on the asphalt, next to a car containing a dead-looking woman, about my age, maybe younger, dark hair, slim – i only looked at her for a second.  I kept trying to call 911, and i kept entering the wrong number.  611, 991, 191.  As i’m struggling with the dialing, i’m looking for street signs or landmarks to tell the operator when i get through.  Finally i DO get through, and tell them what i’ve found and where my location is.  Instantly, of course, being a dream, a young officer arrives and tells me not to worry about it.  He’s suddenly holding a wide plate topped with three heavy, round mounds of her flesh – filet mignon style.  He holds up a chunk of what i can only imagine must be her thigh, weighs it a little in his hand and endorses it with a sincere, “tastes just as good!”

I’m not sure what this poor girl tastes just as good as, but i was disappointed that i didn’t have my camera with me.

oy! 

Mom and Guy are off to Italia!!!  And Paul will be visiting them there!!  Like my other brothers, i’m sorry to miss out on this, but i can’t wait to see the pictures.  :)  I miss them already.

This afternoon i photographed the Press opening for the MGM Grand at Foxwoods – Pretty nice place!!!  I’m not much of a gambler, but if i’m gonna go, i’d still rather go to Mohegan.  But the event was great, the people were nice, and i got one shot that made me laugh out loud as soon as it hit me to take it.  I’ll be sure to put it in my photo blog (and Flickr, of course).

Tomorrow is the Queer Prom, by the way.  I was originally invited to do photography, but then was told that i was actually invited in order to be a certain someone’s date.  My reaction was disappointment (i’d rather SHOOT all night than DANCE all night), although my date is a lovely lady.  I hope she doesn’t want me to put out.  Because i do like her very much, but she’s not for me, and putting out just isn’t an option.  Boundaries.  I want to be really good at Boundaries, like NOW.  

Time to make something out of the chicken breasts i bought, and go through this afternoon’s photos.  Sounds like my kind of Friday night.  :)

i’m thinking about stopping birth control.

i’ve been on it since i was 18, for the sole purpose of regulating a period that came with a fierce army of evil, disabling, literally paralyzing pain.  Every three weeks.

It’s been ten years, and i’ve one-by-one removed strange components out of my system – no more smoking cigarettes, no caffeine… and the pill isn’t exactly good for me either.  The person i’m turning into doesn’t want the chemicals.  But then, if i get off it, i may get those horrible cramps every three weeks again.  I haven’t ruled out having kids, so i don’t want a hysterectomy.  a hysterectomy seems like an extreme measure to take anyway, and after doing that, i’d have to be on replacement hormones anyway, so that defeats the original purpose…

i don’t know.  it’s been on my mind.  

otherwise, i have a day off today!!!  Got a few errands to run (i love errands), and maybe some cleaning around the apartment.  Woo!